Dear Rob ... Thanks for posting that hysterical post!!!
OhMyGod!!! I hate to admit it, guys, but before I started collecting domains, I was a BIG collector of Beanie Babies. During my recent office move, the thieves who "helped" me move and "helped themselves" to about $25,000 worth of electronics, computer equipment, video equipment, DVDs, etc., ALSO stole 20 (That's right, guys, TWENTY!!!!) moving boxes full of Beanie Babies from my collection (that ends up meaning over 1,000 Beanine Babies, which are small individually, but can become very heavy and take up a great deal of space in numbers), claiming that they thought I "wouldn't notice" anything was missing. (Just like I "wouldn't notice" the loss of my SONY Mavica camera, my portable DVD player, etc., etc.). Anyhow, MOST of the stolen beanies were returned but I'm still missing all of my jewelry, electronics equipment, and some of my office furniture, as well, because these idiots also tried to get away with a new off-white leather sofa and matching overstuffed chair, several large framed pieces of original art work, a couple of silk ficus trees, a portable laptop computer (in addition to some of my desktop computer equipment), several large printers, and a color copier, as well as half of my DVD collection and about half of my music CDs, etc., etc.
All I can say is I wish in some ways that I'd never started to collect those damned Beanie babies, because I've already had to replace my entire collection once before. Yep, someone actually broke into a DIFFERENT office three years ago and made off with $15,000 worth of Beanie Babies (yes, they WERE worth that much at the time), but they left some of the BEST of the collection and went for numbers, instead, clearing out the "kids' room" in which I met with child clients. After this theft, I had to run out and try to replace as many of the collection as I could, because I am a psychologist by training and I work with kids who would have been DEVASTATED if they had come to see me and "THEIR" Beanies were gone.
But, Guys, I have to tell you that Tucker, our very brave, regal, elegant, and brilliant feline Vice President for Non-Human Resources of Forensic Domains, has NEVER stooped so low as to adopt a Beanie Baby. No, sireeeee!!!! He has been too busy GUARDING the collection and keeping track of the inventory to be interested in any particular Beanie. This miracle cat once refused to leave the side of the Peanuts the Elephant Beanie Buddy (those are the giant-sized "twins" of the damned beanies, and I started collecting THOSE, too), until I noticed that another Beanie Buddy that had been sitting on Peanuts' head (eventually, if one collects these critters, one runs out of room and has to get creative) had been stolen. I then started to take photos of my collection every time I left the office and eventually discovered that someone was breaking in and systematically stealing items from THAT office in order to scare me away from the building. Instead of breaking in and taking a huge number of Beanies, THIS thief stole one or two at a time, along with a total of 3 or 4 DOZEN of my favorite Cross pens (the multi-function ones that can even hold yellow magic marker refills), prescription medication, food from the office kitchen, items of clothing, including high heeled shoes (yes, it is VERY weird), and a bunch of little things on a regular basis. To make a long story short, THAT thief turned out to be my office landlord, who went through a huge personality change associated with the use of certain substances that apparently were being manufactured and/or "traded" out of my office condo and the adjoining office condo, inhabited by individuals claiming to run a "dental lab" that operated only at night (from around 3:30 AM to 5:00 AM). He apparently got involved enough in his "sales" that he eventually decided that I needed to get out of his property after I had been a model tenant of that office building for 12 years. Instead of informing me face to face that he wanted his office back for "his own use," he slipped an eviction notice under the front door (which was unlocked at the time) even though the papers indicated that I owed $0.00 and he had no reason for an eviction; I would have left peacably and in a far more cordial way had I been treated with any modicum of respect.
Anyhow, that eviction led to my renting office
#2, which turned out to be a disaster of an office (boring story), but leaving that place turned into the more recent total disaster, which included our so-called "friends" cleaning me out of the items I mentioned earlier, but which ALSO included their cleaning out items from our home, as well. What is left in my little apartment/office?? Well, my new, tiny space is inhabited by my husband, by me, by our 3 feline furry creatures, and by a huge number of boxes and boxes of the RETRIEVED Beanie Babies, as well as the boxes of Beanies that our "friends" were kind enough not to have taken for themselves at all. I also managed to get my leather sofa and chair, but most of my new bookcases are gone, as well as the art work, my china, crystal, small electrical appliances, a classical professional sterling silver flute, half of my music CDs, half of my DVDs, ALL of my jewelry, including my wedding and engagament rings, and I have been left devastated with nothing but MOST of my SECOND collection of Beanies to stare at and, hopefully, all of my client files.
Sorry for the long message, but with this background, you can at least understand, perhaps, how VERY MUCH I appreciated reading this hysterical EBay auction description about Beanie Babies. All of what this guy writes about is true ... collectors are FANATICS about the state of the tags that are attached to the Beanies, and the condition of the tags is almost as important as the condition of the Beanies themselves in terms of determining their value.
If ANYONE tried to take one of my Beanies, even the boring and low-value ones, Tucker the Wonder Cat would probably try to eat them. He would never bury one in his litter box or be caught dead being affectionate with one of them, because he is too busy insuring that they are safe and sound. Unfortunately, our little lion did NOT end up being in love with Lexie, the little black kitten we adopted for him after he flirted with her at the vet's office. Instead, his "little brother," Dawson, who is three times Tucker's size (he's a 21-pound Maine coon cat), has taken over the care and nurturing of Lexie. Dawson has taken on a decidedly and unexpectedly "maternal" role that consists of tackling the little black kitten and grooming her from the tip of her nose to the tip of her tail. She, in turn, jumps into Dawson's "lap," or on his back, or on his head, or whereve she happens to land, and thinks that Dawson is her own special cat toy.
Meanwhile, Tucker, the wonder cat, continues to tend to his duties at Forensic Domains, guards the apartment, serves as an official therapy cat, who greets my human clients, sits with them, kisses away their tears, and purrs loudly while they stroke him and rub his tummy. Ah, the life of a hard-working therapy cat is VERY, VERY tiring, and Tucker continues to become more and more involved in his "work," which he takes VERY seriously.
Meanwhile, Dawson follows Tucker around, mimicking his behavior, trying his best to learn the role of a therapy cat, while also serving as the "mommy cat" for HIS new little kitten, Lexie. Lexie spends a substantial amount of her awake time jumping from one high place to the next, knocking off as many objects from flat surfaces as she can in one fell swoop. In addition, she tries her best to catch Tucker's and Dawson's tails, as well as her own, tries to barge in the food line ahead of her two brothers by sneaking UNDER the two taller cats, and runs as fast as she can from one end of any room to the other and back until she finally collapses from exhaustion and falls asleep, wherever and in whatever position she happens to land. Ah, the life of a kitten!!!
Now, LEXIE could well end up adopting, burying, befriending, playing with, tossing around, or even perhaps EATING a Beanie Baby, but fortunately, she has not yet discovered the wonders of the Beanie world. Let's hope that she doesn't discover these creatures any time soon.
By the way, if anyone out there is ALSO another "closet Beanie collector" and you need particular Beanies to fill out your collection, let me know and I'll make you a good deal on any of the "extras" that I have in my inventory. Who knows??? You might ALSO just happen to discover that I have some pretty neat domains for sale, as well! Just take a look and make me an offer!
Lots of Love,
Sheila
Tucker, CattorneyAtLaw and AmericatIdol (DaONLYWorkingCat)
Dawson, DaMommyCat who's really a GuyKitty but Pretending to be DaMaternalType,
and
Lexie (DaCuteKitty who is pretending to take a brief "cat nap," but whose eyes are not totally closed)
PS To "Spy" ... We all wish you DA VERY VERY Best in dealin' with DAT KITTY of yours ... Dawson wants you to know that he's gonna try eatin' a Beanie Baby for a change instead of eating another inedible object. He suggests that your kitty might try eating a big paper Pom Pom, 'cause he finds those VERY tasty, indeed! He finished off a giant RED paper Pom Pom last week and was caught with one tiny little strand of red paper hanging out of his mouth.
