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CRAZY ~ Microsoft Pays Couple to Name Child After Their Search Engine ($150,000)

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companyone

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Hi,


Microsoft Pays Couple to Name Child After Their Search Engine

New Jersey, NJ - Long has Microsoft run a distant third place in the search engine wars behind Google and Yahoo, a position those inside the company are not at all happy about. In proving that Microsoft will stoop to the lowest common denominator in order to win this battle, they have just paid out $150,000 to a New Jersey couple who have in turn named their newborn daughter Live .com.

"Live.com is here to stay," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. "People just don't know it yet, but we will be aggressively marketing it until we crush out all competition as we always do. We at Microsoft felt this was a mutually beneficial arrangement, as little Live .com is provided a life of financial security and we at Microsoft are provided a lifetime of advertising."

Ballmer was later seen salivating at the prospect that Live.com would become someone famous, an actress, sports star, or news anchor, though he was notable concerned that she would end up being spoiled by the money and turn into a lifetime of black eyes for Microsoft a la Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.

The New Jersey couple, who make a modest living already selling fuzzy animal head golf club covers out of their apartment, felt the money generated from the naming rights of their child would open up many opportunities in the course of her life.

"She'll be the coolest kid in school when her dad drops her off in his brand new Porsche," said Brad Collins, the proud father and executor of Live .com's fortune until she reaches her eighteenth birthday. "Not to mention the big flat screen plasma TV that will be in our living room and the pool table in the basement. She's gonna love that stuff."

Mr. Collins also later mentioned, after showing us his new hot tube, that the money could also be used to help Live .com attend a local community college, if it were reasonably priced.

Other companies, most notably GoldenPalace .com (which has in the past paid someone to tattoo GoldenPalace .com on their head and had a newly discovered species of monkey named after their website) have taken notice and are already making offers to cash strapped parents all across the United States for their children's naming rights.

http://www.smthop.com/articles1details.asp?NewsNum=1081

INSANE....???

_____

Peace!
Dan
 
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lotk.com

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wtf is this world coming to?
It wouldn't be as horrible if the parents were giving all the money to the child when she turns 18, but they're just spending it on themselves. Pretty pathetic imo.
 

Justin Hulsey

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Definitely rediculous. But hey, you have to really think about it. $150,000 just for naming your kid something silly like Live.com. Call her live for short, not too bad.
 

Credit

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Sounds like theonion
 

Focus

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They act like 150k is alot of money, lol..."new porsche" c'mon give me a flippin break dude..that money will be long gone in a year or two! Idiots! They are talking like it's 1.5 million or something...many families make 100k a year today..geez
 

Ridge

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HAHHA, such BS, this is definitely not true.

seriously though, if you forward this news story to 10 people microsoft will send you $5k
 

thevirtual

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April fools?

This is definitely a Joke News site...
 

Theo

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Thanks for the laugh :D
 

harleyx

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The guys posting serious replies in disgust are funnier than the article.
 

katherine

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As long as they don't name her live.mobi :)
 

jdk

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Take the money and then change her name
 

GAMEFINEST

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Almost fell for it
 

Reece

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I actually fell for it too :shy:

I really wouldn't put anything past M$ at this point.

Hi,

I fell for it....

I thought it was true. If anyone has ever seen the way Steve Ballmer acts...this story is not a stretch in the least bit.

My Bad..... :embarrassed:


Peace!
Dan
 
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tekz999

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The battle for MS vs GOOG will be fierce. Maybe last a century.
 

sashas

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Steve Ballmer is smarter than that...any publicity that does come out of such a step (if they ever do go that crazy) will be bad, not good.

I would personally hate to be called Live.com

I wouldn't mind it so much, however, if I was named $ex.com...just imagine the possibilities of being called "Mr $ex dot com"..lol
 

acesfull

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My brothers Yahoo and Google, and my cousin Pepsi all knew that story was fake! I could also tell you a story about my dog Motorola and my cat Meowmix, but you may not believe it.
 

harleyx

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Wonder if anyone ever named their kid dotcom, or something similar? I could believe something like that would happen, considering all the bizarre name changes people have made.
 

Dale Hubbard

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Yep. I sussed it as soon as I saw the 'quote' by Ballmer. He doesn't talk like that :)
 
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