Definitions of words by gender...

[A D]

Definitions of words by gender...
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend
with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes
"look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun,
or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.

 

[smile]

haha ...
where did u get this ?

 

[A D]

web surfing.

-=DCG=-

 

[tekz999]

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking. <--- HELL YEAH!

 

[Vivvy]

Okay... being one of the few women around here it is my feminine responsibility to post man jokes... now mind you i don't hate men, heck i've married three of them, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do

here's a couple of my favs:

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

What do men and microwaves have in common?
They're both done in 30 seconds.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
It's kinda cute, but can it pick up peanuts?

Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy (okay.. that ones a little racey.. sorry)

Vivvy

 

[jojoyohan]

Awesome jokes. I like the last one viv.

 

[Crazysah]

hehehehe. Good stuff.

 

[Vivvy]

Okay this one is really good... my husband just sent it to me..

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" .

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

I swear this cracked me up... so I responded to my husband in the email "fine, be home in 5 minutes, *sigh*"

Vivvy

 

[Mr Webname]

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll.

Don't know it's never been tried yet.

 

[OgieOgalthorpe]

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Reminds of the Eddie Murphy skit from Delirious..."its the fart game, you'll play it someday".

 

[SsZERO]

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

That's so true.

 

[freestyler]

haha lol..nice one adam, vivvy

 

[ForumsHelp]

That's funny fellows, I'll keep them to my friends
:blush: