- Joined
- Apr 13, 2004
- Messages
- 15,995
- Reaction score
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Three old servicemen were waiting in the veteran's affairs office to apply for a lump-sum bonus to which they had been entitled.
The V.A. officer came in and addressed them all.
"Gentlemen, the V.A. has decided that all bonuses will be given commensurate with physical measurements taken from the applicant.To be fair however, the applicant gets to decide the measurement used."
The first man, a sailor stand up and says. "I want my measurment to be from the top of my head to the tip of my toes."
The V.A. officer takes a tape measure and measures this distance, and announces, "Five foot eleven..your bonus will be five thousand, one hundred and ten dollars."
The second man, a pilot in the USAF stand up and says, " I want to be measured from the tips of my outstretched arms."
The V.A. officer measures this and announces, "Six feet, two inches..your bonus will be six thousand, two hundred dollars."
The third man, and old Marine stands up and says "You can measure me from the tip of my private to my balls."
The V.A. man is confused and says "Are you sure that's the measurment you want to use?"
"Damn straight" says the grizzled old Marine, and drops his drawers.
The V.A. officer kneels before him and places the end of the tape measure on the tip of the soldier's private and extends it downward until he reached where the man's testicles would have been."
"Where are your balls?" the V.A. man asks.
"Vietnam" says the Marine.
The V.A. officer came in and addressed them all.
"Gentlemen, the V.A. has decided that all bonuses will be given commensurate with physical measurements taken from the applicant.To be fair however, the applicant gets to decide the measurement used."
The first man, a sailor stand up and says. "I want my measurment to be from the top of my head to the tip of my toes."
The V.A. officer takes a tape measure and measures this distance, and announces, "Five foot eleven..your bonus will be five thousand, one hundred and ten dollars."
The second man, a pilot in the USAF stand up and says, " I want to be measured from the tips of my outstretched arms."
The V.A. officer measures this and announces, "Six feet, two inches..your bonus will be six thousand, two hundred dollars."
The third man, and old Marine stands up and says "You can measure me from the tip of my private to my balls."
The V.A. man is confused and says "Are you sure that's the measurment you want to use?"
"Damn straight" says the grizzled old Marine, and drops his drawers.
The V.A. officer kneels before him and places the end of the tape measure on the tip of the soldier's private and extends it downward until he reached where the man's testicles would have been."
"Where are your balls?" the V.A. man asks.
"Vietnam" says the Marine.
