I think you are making a huge mistake. I am not trying to offend, but you don't have a grasp of the language, and you are headed for disaster. Whatever your native language is, you should stick to that, for now. You are going to get crushed, and spend a lot of time and money on stuff that will not make your life better.
Hit the pause button, and take about 6 months and just READ...READ....and then read some more. You will save money, and the light might go off. Good luck.