Obama Jokes

[Donald Aquilano]

I picked out the ones I felt were pretty good......

Q. Candidate Obama has been telling us, “Yes We Can.” What will President Obama tell us?
A. “Yes You Will.”

Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.

Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

Q. Why does Barack want higher taxes?
A. Cause he won’t be the one paying them.

Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.

Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy.

Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.

 

[Tia Wood]

McCain Jokes


"Our economy, I think, is still -- the fundamentals of our economy are strong." --Jacksonville, Fla., Sept. 15, 2008 -- McCain

"She's a partner and a soul-mate." --on his vice presidential pick, Sarah Palin, whom he had met only once before offering her the job, "FOX News Sunday" interview, Aug. 31, 2008 -- McCain

"The role of the vice president is to break ties in the Senate and inquire daily into the health of the president." -- McCain

"I think -- I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where -- I'll have them get to you." --after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008 -- McCain

"I think if you're just talking about income, how about $5 million?" --after being asked by Rev. Rick Warren to define "rich," Lake Forest, California, Aug. 16, 2008 -- McCain

"Governor Sarah Palin gave her speech tonight at the GOP Convention, and it gave people who didn't know anything about her the chance to finally meet her, you know, like John McCain." --Jay Leno

Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because hedidn't want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney." –Jay Leno


"President Bush spoke at a campaign rally in support of John McCain. They raised millions and millions of dollars, most of which will be used to repair the damage of President Bush supporting John McCain at a campaign rally. So it's kind of a wash" --Jay Leno

"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated." -- McCain


"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation -- McCain

"No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk." --to fellow Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?" -- McCain

And the worst one:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape? -- a "joke" McCain reportedly told during his first Senate race in 1986 -- McCain

 

[stock_post]

you both deserve some dnf$ guys..

 

[Theo]

McCain's senility kicked in, one year after winning the presidency in 2008. He started thinking he was Obama while looking himself in the mirror and one day he shot himself in the head screaming "One less liberal alive!"

 

[Donald Aquilano]

This is my thread so post only Obama jokes. If you want to make fun of McCain start your own thread.

 

[Theo]

Since when did you acquire a sense of humor?

 

[Donald Aquilano]

A few more.....

Q. What do Obama Messiah followers drink?
A. Koolaid, of course.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry Obama to Barack Obama?
A. He thought “Barry” sounded too American.

“Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence … and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.” –Jay Leno

"Over the weekend, Senator Barack Obama visited New Hampshire and thousands of people showed up to hear him speak. The New Hampshire crowds were excited, because apparently, this is the first time they've ever seen an African-American."- Conan O'Brien

"Well, congratulations to Barack Obama, the big winner of the Democratic caucus. Stunning victory. He got 57% of the youth vote, 35% of the female vote, and 100% of Iowa's black vote, a guy named Larry."- Jay Leno

"Did you hear the latest about Barack Obama? He comes from a family of slave owners. He’s black, but he’s half white. Apparently, on his mothers side, which is the white side, they owned slaves. The Barack Obama camp is going to deny it ... but his approval ratings in the South shot up 27 points." - Bill Maher

"You see Barack Obama at that rally surrounded by all those Kennedys? Man, I couldn't tell if he was running for president or bartender."- Jay Leno

BARACK OBAMA'S PLANE HAD SOME MECHANICAL ISSUES, IT TURNS OUT SOME BOLTS CAME LOOSE, JESSE JACKSON TOOK THE NUTS OFF.

WHY DOESN'T BARACK DRINK PEPSI? BECAUSE HE THINKS THINGS GO BETTER WITH COKE!

 

[Theo]

OMG these are so funny...if you are a backwoods redneck KKK klansman, that is.

 

[Donald Aquilano]

OMG these are so funny...if you are a backwoods redneck KKK klansman, that is.

I guess Bill Maher, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien are racists in your book too? lol

 

[Theo]

No, but the white hood fits you perfectly!

 

[Donald Aquilano]

No, but the white hood fits you perfectly!

:crazy:

 

[Theo]

All hail White Knight bd77!

 

[Donald Aquilano]

All hail White Knight bd77!

You need to see a shrink dude.

 

[Theo]

All of a sudden, bd77's "sense of humor" collapsed.
Much like the US economy under GW Bush

 

[Donald Aquilano]

All of a sudden, bd77's "sense of humor" collapsed.
Much like the US economy under GW Bush

Nothing you have said is even remotely funny.

 

[Theo]

Oh I am sorry. Did I piss on your plate?