Question on Hell

[neologist]

Posted elsewhere on the internet:

The following is purported to be an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A”

:laugh:

 

[Crazysah]

Amazing if he was the only person recieving a A!!!!!

 

[Bob]

This has been circulating forever....

Every time I see it, the outcome changes.

In its first incarnation, there was nothing about a woman - and it was a Graduate level Thermodynamics class.

In its second incarnation, the woman was Jennifer.

In its third incarnation, Jennifer did not sleep with the student and hell was endothermic.

In the fourth incarnation Jennifer / Theresa slept with him and hell is now exothermic.

In the fifth incarnation (this one), the corollary was added, and the class is now a Chemistry class.

Funny regardless ;D

-Bob

 

[neologist]

In its third incarnation, Jennifer did not sleep with the student and hell was endothermic. -Bob

Indeed, if we look at the world today, all hell has indeed broken loose. %+|

 

[smub]

very nice .. its a good one

 

[iguanaman]

LOL that's funny! I've never seen it before. Good one.

 

[jojoyohan]

Hell broke loose in 2000 when that moron who will not be named became the President of the United States of America and turned a huge surplus' into one of the worst deficits. Wheres satan when you need him? Flying to his ranch in Texas.

 

[fatter]

Hell broke loose in 2000 when that moron who will not be named became the President of the United States of America and turned a huge surplus' into one of the worst deficits. Wheres satan when you need him? Flying to his ranch in Texas.

political posts not allowed on this forum, unless of course they are negative against the president of the united states then they are allowed

 

[neologist]

political posts not allowed on this forum, unless of course they are negative against the president of the united states then they are allowed

Which reminds me of my friend Pierre Arouette. A.K.A. Voltaire, who said: "It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."

 

[mydn]

hilarious, i love it, especially how it changes

 

[lz83ny]

He got an A because what he wrote is brilliant No doubts

 

[ForumsHelp]

so scientific!!!!

 

[chording]

Which reminds me of my friend Pierre Arouette. A.K.A. Voltaire, who said: "It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."

A classic irony of humanity.

 

[Dr. Domaining]

Ha ha ha. That is even funnier than the joke itself.

This has been circulating forever....

Every time I see it, the outcome changes.

In its first incarnation, there was nothing about a woman - and it was a Graduate level Thermodynamics class.

In its second incarnation, the woman was Jennifer.

In its third incarnation, Jennifer did not sleep with the student and hell was endothermic.

In the fourth incarnation Jennifer / Theresa slept with him and hell is now exothermic.

In the fifth incarnation (this one), the corollary was added, and the class is now a Chemistry class.

Funny regardless ;D

-Bob

 

[Stinos]

funny

 

[sufi]

A really goood one ... Muhaaaaaaaa

 

[VisualDigits]

That's simply genius.