- Joined
- May 14, 2002
- Messages
- 600
- Reaction score
- 0
The Rabbit
The SAS, the Army and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend
Together to see who comes out top. After some basic exercises, the trainer
tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods and come back
with a rabbit for tea.
First up are the SAS. They don their infra red goggles, drop to the
Ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5
minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. they emerge with a rabbit,
shot cleanly through the forehead.
"Excellent" says the trainer.
Next up are the Army. They finish their cans of lager, cover themselves
In camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods,
screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with
the sound
of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood-curdling war
cries. eventually, they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you got a result. well done" says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the Police, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling
Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken
by the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie: "sierra oscar lemur one,
Suspect headed straight for you" etc. After what seems an eternity, they
emerge, escorting a squirrel in hand cuffs.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" asks the incredulous trainer.
Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, like I asked you 5 hours ago!"
So back they go.
Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night. The next
morning the trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the police,
holding the squirrel, now covered in bruises.
"Are you taking the p*ss?" asks the seriously irate trainer. The police
team leader shoots a glance
at the squirrel, who squeaks: "Alright, alright, I'm a bl**dy rabbit!"
:laugh:
The SAS, the Army and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend
Together to see who comes out top. After some basic exercises, the trainer
tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods and come back
with a rabbit for tea.
First up are the SAS. They don their infra red goggles, drop to the
Ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5
minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. they emerge with a rabbit,
shot cleanly through the forehead.
"Excellent" says the trainer.
Next up are the Army. They finish their cans of lager, cover themselves
In camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods,
screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with
the sound
of machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood-curdling war
cries. eventually, they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you got a result. well done" says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the Police, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling
Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken
by the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie: "sierra oscar lemur one,
Suspect headed straight for you" etc. After what seems an eternity, they
emerge, escorting a squirrel in hand cuffs.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" asks the incredulous trainer.
Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, like I asked you 5 hours ago!"
So back they go.
Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night. The next
morning the trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the police,
holding the squirrel, now covered in bruises.
"Are you taking the p*ss?" asks the seriously irate trainer. The police
team leader shoots a glance
at the squirrel, who squeaks: "Alright, alright, I'm a bl**dy rabbit!"
:laugh:
