- Joined
- Apr 13, 2004
- Messages
- 15,995
- Reaction score
- 1,415
01. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.
03. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
04. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
05. Get rid of your cat.
06. Sunday = sports.
07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
09. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this post is offered as-is, without warranty. I am not responsible for any consequences which may result in death, injure or damage to your body if you use the provided information to your wife.
Keep the phone handy so you can call 911 when needed. Consult with your attorney if you have any questions.
02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.
03. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
04. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
05. Get rid of your cat.
06. Sunday = sports.
07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
09. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this post is offered as-is, without warranty. I am not responsible for any consequences which may result in death, injure or damage to your body if you use the provided information to your wife.
Keep the phone handy so you can call 911 when needed. Consult with your attorney if you have any questions.
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