Who wants some dan bucks?

[MattyP]

Funniest clean joke gets them.

Matt

 

[ShaunP]

MattyP ... don't want the Dan bucks ... but here's a joke for ya...

Ok, there's this guy in a bar, sitting at the bar, just looking at his drink. He sits, staring at his drink for over half-an-hour, not talking and barely moving. Then, a big macho guy who has been Playing pool takes notice of our friend at the bar, noticing our friend just staring at his drink for a long time. This is driving Mr. macho crazy so he walks up to the bar, grabs the drink and chugs it right down. The poor man who has been sitting at the bar starts crying.

Mr. Macho says: - "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying".

Our friend at the bar replies: - "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep this morning and go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building and go to my car, I found out it was stolen. And the police say they can do nothing to find my car. I get a cab to return home, and after I get out of the cab, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards in the cab. I run after the cab driver who just laughs and drives away. I get home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and end up at this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison" . . .

 

[MattyP]

Ha Ha Ha.
I have had a similar day today myself LOL.

Great joke. You are in line for the points, or whomever you select, that is for sure.

Matt

 

[RON2]

How many registrars does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes three days and must be approved by the bulb owner and previous light bulb installer.

 

[MattyP]

RJ. Nice one.

Matt

 

[GeorgeK]

What did the Polish bride get on her wedding day that was long and hard?
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Answer: A new last name.

 

[MattyP]

He He.
Good one too, George.

Matt

 

[DomeBase]

Hope you don't mind a little religious humor...

One day Jesus and the devil get into a debate about who is better at computers.

God says, OK, I'll set up a contest. You each have 24 hours to do wordprocessing, web design, spread sheets, power point etc.

So Jesus and the devil both sit down at their stations and start working away vigorously.

After 23 hours, all of a sudden there is a big flash and lightning and both of their computers go blank... a power outtage!

The devil starts cursing and complaining about the outtage and the work he lost, but Jesus remains calm. The devil says that it is impossible to get the work redone in a hour, but God refuses to move the contest deadline. Muttering and sputtering, the devil tries to rush together all the work.

When the 24 hours is up... the devil prints out a couple hap-hazard pages and sheets, but Jesus prints out page after page of great work. Hey, the devil says, "Jesus cheated... he can't have done that in one hour."

"He didn't cheat," God says -- "Jesus saves" :laugh:

 

[EroGenius]

Making Tracks

Three derelicts were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. Upon spying them, the first drunk said very excitedly, "Hey, boyz! Thos muss be deer trackzz!"

The wino next to him peered back with a scowl and spat, "No, ztupid, anyone can... hic...anyone can... hic... anyone can tell thos arrrrre wabbit twacks!"

The third companion laughed so wildly he fell over onto ground and bellowed, "You idiots! Can't youz zeee... thesh arrr cleeeryly horse tracks!"

They where still arguing very loudly ten minutes later when a train hit them.

~ EroGenius

 

[Who-Wiz]

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One stops and says to the other:

"Does this taste funny to you?"

W|Z
(Makes me laugh everytime)

 

[MattyP]

You get that off my website Andrew???? LOL

Matt

 

[Who-Wiz]

I'm the "other" Whiz. If you mean Jokes.com, I think that's where it was from, yeah!

W|Z

 

[AMERICAR]

Toilet humour:

Two men were occupying booths in a public rest room, one calls out to the other, there is no paper over here - do you have any ?

the 2nd guy says, no sorry, i don't.

well do you have a newspaper or magazine ?

the guy replies, no, sorry.

The first guys asks , well do you have change for a twenty?"

.

 

Originally posted by AMERICAR
Toilet humour:

Two men were occupying booths in a public rest room, one calls out to the other, there is no paper over here - do you have any ?

the 2nd guy says, no sorry, i don't.

well do you have a newspaper or magazine ?

the guy replies, no, sorry.

The first guys asks , well do you have change for a twenty?"

.

the 2nd guy replies, all coins!

 

[MattyP]

I did my best to donate to all. My points wern't deducted for some reason.

Matt

 

[Omni]

Weird.. works for me..

 

Everybody is welcome to test their donation on me, I won't charge anyone extra d?n bux for helping.

 

[yesonline]

Originally posted by goh
Everybody is welcome to test their donation on me, I won't charge anyone extra d?n bux for helping.

Donate to me, I won't chharge you extra fees and even give you a discounts for 10%, if you decide to donate to me 100 bux then you just send me 90 and save 10 at once

 

[Omni]

goh you have a competitor

 

Originally posted by Omni
goh you have a competitor

There is no substitute for originality!