Dear Winnie and Whoever Nominated Me:
I am absolutely speechless. I simply don't know what to say. I've been trying to figure out who made the mistake and put a Platinum membership under my name, and I just ran across this thread.
You have no idea what your kindness means to me. This has been the toughest year I have survived in my entire life, and I never in a million years expected anything like this to happen out of the blue.
Winnie, dear Winnie ... thank you so very much for your kind gift. The tears are streaming down my face so fast right now that I can hardly see what I'm typing, so please excuse any typing mistakes.
You have totally floored me by doing the type of thing that I love to do for others when I am able to do so. I NEVER expected anyone to do anything so kind for me. If at all possible, I would really love to know who nominated me, so that I can thank this dear friend. If not, I'll certainly survive, but this will leave me with the second great mystery of my life, the first of which I THINK I figured out, but I don't know for sure.
When I was a senior in college, I was getting ready for a huge prom (if that doesn't date me, I don't know what else would do a better job of doing so). I had worked hard in college to grow from the studious little chubby nerd I had been in high school to become the vice president of my senior class and (don't laugh or hit me ... it was a long time ago!) president of my sorority. I had been dating a law student, who was the first "big love" of my life. Anyhow, before the big dance, a corsage consisting of a dozen sweetheart roses was delivered to me with a handwritten note that said "Love from your Secret Admirer." Of course, I was wearing it when "Mr. Big Shot" showed up to take me to the dance. I thanked him profusely for the flowers, gave him a big hug and kiss, and was ready to leave for the dance when he thanked me for the display of affection, but quietly informed me that he had NOT sent me any flowers!!!
I ended up asking almost every guy I saw at the dance if he had been my "secret admirer," the one who had sent me the flowers. Almost all of my guy friends admitted to being my "secret admirer" (they were good buddies, indeed), but they all said they had not sent me the corsage. I was stumped, and absolutely dying of curiosity to know who had sent me this gift.
The next day, I went to the local florists and told them that they had forgotten to include a card with the flowers. Well, they reminded me that they HAD told me that the flowers were from my "secret admirer," but that I could give up on any hopes of their ever revealing the secret. I even offered to bribe the florist, who smiled broadly and said, "Forget it. Secret admirers must always remain secret."
I racked my brain and finally, after several years, I came up with the most logical candidate ... my dad. To the day he died, he refused to admit that he had been my "secret admirer," but in her later years, my mother finally acknowledged that she was pretty certain that it had, indeed, been my dad who had sent the corsage.
"He just didn't think that the guy was good enough for you," she said. "He figured that the guy was too self-centered and cheap to buy you flowers, and your dad wanted you to have the most beautiful flowers he could find." "He also wanted to show up this guy for the real person he was," she added.
Well, my dad was right, and this idiot disappeared from my life, but only after telling me that he would no longer be able to see me every weekend, because he was getting married!!! Yep, no kidding. How's that for an exit line? That's a real story and the vignette that describes the first time my heart was broken. It wasn't the last, but I learned a great deal from that incident and many others.
What I learned was that when one loses one's sense of complete trust and one's innocence, it will eventually be replaced by something even more powerful ... true intimacy, if only we allow it to happen. Intimacy can only occur when two (or more) people take risks to share their deepest feelings, with the knowledge and experience that lets them know that they CAN be hurt in the process. With the right combination of magic and chemistry, a deeper bond of caring, communication, and intimacy take the place of the innocence that once seemed so crucial.
Thanks for letting me ramble on like this. By the way, Tucker, my "miracle kitty" has been sitting in my lap purring and communicating like crazy ever since I started to type this message. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Thank you, Winnie, for sharing such an incredibly special gift with me. I'm glad it didn't take me years to figure this one out!!! I promise to pass on the good will to others.
Now, who in the heck was the "secret admirer" or person who was so kind as to nominate me? I want to send that person a very special hug and kiss.
Love,
Sheila