My New Truck

[Raider]

I bought a new Ford Ranger


and returned it to the dealer yesterday
because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.


'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio.


The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'


'Willie!' he continued and 'On The Road Again'

came from the speakers.


Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant

' Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days,

every time I'd say, 'Beethoven,'

I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said,

'Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.


Yesterday, some guy ran a red light

and nearly creamed my new truck,

but I swerved in time to avoid him.


I yelled, 'Ass Hole!'


Immediately the radio responded with,

"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of

United States


Damn I love this truck..

 

[jasdon11]

Must've been a 2008 model.

 

[Raider]

Must've been a 2008 model.

:lol: Good one Jas... But "New" means 2010.

 

[PRED]

lol Jasdon

i'll take the model in front of the 'truck'
you can keep that gas guzzling thing

 

[Donald Aquilano]

lol

 

[barefoot]

i'll take the model in front of the 'truck'
you can keep that gas guzzling thing

There's a truck in that photo???

 

[Namebrander]

Well Raider

I've had an epiphany (look it up)

Last night I couldn't sleep, then all of a sudden a blinding light shot across my eyes and out of a swirling cosmic mini cloud a form manifested in front of my eyes !

It was Moses, he spoke in a whisper.
"I am Moses, Moses Bush, (get it?), I am the great great great great great great great great great great grand daddy of the innacurately branded gas guzzling Bush mafia and supposedly bent Bush dynasty. Everything they did was golden, from foreign policy, to illegal wars that were actually totally justified and not remotely illegal. Their increibly relaxed approach to letting the banks and oil industry do as they damn well please for evermore was great too, it was all in the name of freedom and wealth creation. The New Orleans debacle wasn't anything to do with Georgie, in fact it was Obama who blew it up and who also stole the $50 Georgie put aside to repair the faulty levee. G W is golden, and no he doesn't give alcoholics a bad name. He is not remotely interested in adding to his family's vast fortunes and never once took a back hander or turned a blind eye to anything whatsoever. Nor did he let the state of Israel do as they damn well please, any time they damn well wanted *. All he did was try his best to bring world peace, and global understanding to all.He tried his best to promote green energy as well ! and Guantanamo Bay was also a lie spread by druggie liberals. Oh and the oil /right wing evangelists / weapons manufacturers lobbyists etc never swayed him one iota with their mega buck bribes, in fact they could never get in touch with him because he was always in deep metaphysical and foreign policy discussions with Jesus, in fact he had a personal hotline to him and they talked constantly ! ."

He went on to tell me that indeed G W is the second coming, and that Obama is the anti-christ.

In an instant I was converted into a right wing reactionary moron and I have never been happier !


* DISCLAIMER

I had to add this as of course you will twist it to your ultra right world view. I am not anti - semitic. Like most I totally abhor Nazi crimes against those of the Jewish faith. In fact my Irish grandfathers fought the Nazis (as so many others did and as I would have done) I do however - like many open minded Israelis do - almost completely disagree with much of Israel's recent policies re their aims of self preservation and the expansion of the state of Israel, such a shame Bush & co did everything possible to appease them.