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- Aug 15, 2002
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I've tried and tried and tried to narrow this down to just one, but my partner in crime, the Vice President for NonHuman Resources of Forensic Domains, insisted on adding one as well. Needless to say, with a very outspoken genius kitty such as Tucker is, I am in no position to argue with him. So, my favorite and "best" domain name is:
CattorneyAtLaw.com
and Tucker's choice is:
AMERICATIdol.com
Tucker tried to convince the judges to let him audition for this season's show, but he was turned away because Randy couldn't find a small enough microphone for Tucker, Paula was afraid that Randy would inadvertently step on the star and flatten him as he excitedly gave "Props" to "Dawg," and Simon couldn't imagine having to break it to Diane Warren that she would have to compose a dozen songs to be sung by a cat. Feeling that he has been treated unfairly, Tucker is working on a brief to be filed in the US District Court alleging discrimination on the basis of size and genetic factors over which he has no control.
Just imagine ... Tucker singing songs from various genres ...
instead of "It's Raining Men," the classic song would be "It's Raining Rats" from the 70s ...
a song from the Michael Jackson album "Thriller' would be sung
not as "Beat It", but as "Eat It" (accentuated with a tiny feather sticking out of his mouth) ...
the Avril Lavigne recent song "Sk8er Boy" would be changed to "Sk8er Toy" so that Tucker could use his robotic skating mouse that lights up and laughs at him as a background vocalist ...
The 'NSync song "Dirty Pop" would be chnged to Tucker's rendition of "Dirty Mop" to be used as a hint to his human colleagues when he thinks his litter box is getting just a tad too stinky ...
the Craig David new hit "What's Your Flava" would be sung unchanged in honor of his favorite food (Not Fancy Feast, but the cheap cat food from K-Mart for its very juicy consistency and especially stinky aroma, so much his favorite that he saves a little of his dinner to dab behind his ears as his feline cologne, which he prefers to call "toilet water" for obvious reasons) ...
And finally, Tucker would sing his own composition of a country song, dedicated to all little children and clumsy adults everywhere. His composition is entitled "I Worship the Ground You Walk On ... You Shouldn't Step On Me!"
As an encore, in honor of his bunny and mousy buddies, Tucker plans to offer a medley of 'Hip Hop' and "Rat" music, complete with "break" dancing, which means either that he is given license to break anything he wishes to push onto the floor from a high place, just for fun, or that he can take a "break" for a cat nap anytime he wishes to do so.
As the daintiest and best coordinated creature on earth, Tucker wants you to know that he breaks things simply because he loves to hear them shatter and go "thud" or "boom" or "crash" when they hit the floor. Ah, what a sense of power that gives him!
As a fan of the TV show "The Osbournes," Tucker wishes to caution all creatures out there who wish to remain articulate as they grow older to "Just Say NO to catnip."
I have promised once again to repeat Tucker's plea to all to "PUHLEEZ send him an E-Snail" so he will have something to look at and to play with once he has read your message. Tucker will read your message, CAT-alog it, play with the snail, and treat it as a member of his own family. He really wants a pet, and he feels that a SNAIL would be just about the right size. A snail would also be easy to care for, and it would not fight him for his food.
Tucker feels very sad, ignored and unappreciated when his mailbox continues to contain only one measly little message. :depressed
So, please make this little guy know that you have read his message and just drop him a line to say "hi." You will put a very big smile on his face.
As an incentive, Tucker invites you to visit Forensic Domains, where he will begin offering UNANNOUNCED SPECIAL SALES AND CONTESTS on randomly selected domain names, beginning at the end of this week. If you send Tucker an e-mail with your name and e-mail address, along with a statement that you wish to receive his private announcements, he will even let you know when special events and promotions ARE GOING TO occur.
His e-mail address is: [email protected]
Tucker has some amazing plans for free goodies, links to terrific domain seller and domain creation resources, and he is even lobbying for our site to have occasional drawings for nice prizes when his fan club has enough members to permit him to draw names from his little FISHBOWL.
Tucker will also be showcasing the domain seller sites of members of his fan club, complete with a review of his fan's web site from a cat's eye view.
Please hurry and write to Tucker before he gets so focused on drawing winning names that eats the little fishies who are temporarily inhabiting this tiny abode.
As a respectful and ethical little guy, Tucker promises that you can choose to be removed from his list at any time and he will NEVER, EVER, EVER share your private information with anyone else. He also wants you to know that if you choose to leave his email club at any time, he will understand your desire to do so PURRfectly.
Remember, you can write to Tucker at:
[email protected]
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for dropping a note to our little guy. Your single act of kindness will have made the world just a little bit better than it was before you decided to do so.
CattorneyAtLaw.com
and Tucker's choice is:
AMERICATIdol.com
Tucker tried to convince the judges to let him audition for this season's show, but he was turned away because Randy couldn't find a small enough microphone for Tucker, Paula was afraid that Randy would inadvertently step on the star and flatten him as he excitedly gave "Props" to "Dawg," and Simon couldn't imagine having to break it to Diane Warren that she would have to compose a dozen songs to be sung by a cat. Feeling that he has been treated unfairly, Tucker is working on a brief to be filed in the US District Court alleging discrimination on the basis of size and genetic factors over which he has no control.
Just imagine ... Tucker singing songs from various genres ...
instead of "It's Raining Men," the classic song would be "It's Raining Rats" from the 70s ...
a song from the Michael Jackson album "Thriller' would be sung
not as "Beat It", but as "Eat It" (accentuated with a tiny feather sticking out of his mouth) ...
the Avril Lavigne recent song "Sk8er Boy" would be changed to "Sk8er Toy" so that Tucker could use his robotic skating mouse that lights up and laughs at him as a background vocalist ...
The 'NSync song "Dirty Pop" would be chnged to Tucker's rendition of "Dirty Mop" to be used as a hint to his human colleagues when he thinks his litter box is getting just a tad too stinky ...
the Craig David new hit "What's Your Flava" would be sung unchanged in honor of his favorite food (Not Fancy Feast, but the cheap cat food from K-Mart for its very juicy consistency and especially stinky aroma, so much his favorite that he saves a little of his dinner to dab behind his ears as his feline cologne, which he prefers to call "toilet water" for obvious reasons) ...
And finally, Tucker would sing his own composition of a country song, dedicated to all little children and clumsy adults everywhere. His composition is entitled "I Worship the Ground You Walk On ... You Shouldn't Step On Me!"
As an encore, in honor of his bunny and mousy buddies, Tucker plans to offer a medley of 'Hip Hop' and "Rat" music, complete with "break" dancing, which means either that he is given license to break anything he wishes to push onto the floor from a high place, just for fun, or that he can take a "break" for a cat nap anytime he wishes to do so.
As the daintiest and best coordinated creature on earth, Tucker wants you to know that he breaks things simply because he loves to hear them shatter and go "thud" or "boom" or "crash" when they hit the floor. Ah, what a sense of power that gives him!
As a fan of the TV show "The Osbournes," Tucker wishes to caution all creatures out there who wish to remain articulate as they grow older to "Just Say NO to catnip."
I have promised once again to repeat Tucker's plea to all to "PUHLEEZ send him an E-Snail" so he will have something to look at and to play with once he has read your message. Tucker will read your message, CAT-alog it, play with the snail, and treat it as a member of his own family. He really wants a pet, and he feels that a SNAIL would be just about the right size. A snail would also be easy to care for, and it would not fight him for his food.
Tucker feels very sad, ignored and unappreciated when his mailbox continues to contain only one measly little message. :depressed
So, please make this little guy know that you have read his message and just drop him a line to say "hi." You will put a very big smile on his face.
As an incentive, Tucker invites you to visit Forensic Domains, where he will begin offering UNANNOUNCED SPECIAL SALES AND CONTESTS on randomly selected domain names, beginning at the end of this week. If you send Tucker an e-mail with your name and e-mail address, along with a statement that you wish to receive his private announcements, he will even let you know when special events and promotions ARE GOING TO occur.
His e-mail address is: [email protected]
Tucker has some amazing plans for free goodies, links to terrific domain seller and domain creation resources, and he is even lobbying for our site to have occasional drawings for nice prizes when his fan club has enough members to permit him to draw names from his little FISHBOWL.
Tucker will also be showcasing the domain seller sites of members of his fan club, complete with a review of his fan's web site from a cat's eye view.
Please hurry and write to Tucker before he gets so focused on drawing winning names that eats the little fishies who are temporarily inhabiting this tiny abode.
As a respectful and ethical little guy, Tucker promises that you can choose to be removed from his list at any time and he will NEVER, EVER, EVER share your private information with anyone else. He also wants you to know that if you choose to leave his email club at any time, he will understand your desire to do so PURRfectly.
Remember, you can write to Tucker at:
[email protected]
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for dropping a note to our little guy. Your single act of kindness will have made the world just a little bit better than it was before you decided to do so.
