Wow.. this thread is over a year old...
Glad to see it finally got some replies! :-D
Actually it wasn't hard to find out what chat software DNF used. I forgot I even posted this thread. I just saw my name as the thread starter and thought it looked fishy since I didn't remember making this post.
Just click the info tab while in chat and it links you to their page.
I plan to upgrade my sites to use RealChat eventually but it's not really a priority of any sort at the moment.