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As many of you know, one of Jeff Foxworthyâs funniest routines is âYou might be a Redneck ifâ¦.â
The routine consists of one-liners that follow that phrase.
Here are some great ones.
Enjoy!
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You just might be a Redneck ifâ¦
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Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
You've ever tried to drown a fish.
You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event.
None of your shirts cover your stomach.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
Your family tree does not fork.
Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
The fifth grade is referred to as "Your Senior Year."
You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
Three-quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.
Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.
Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
The routine consists of one-liners that follow that phrase.
Here are some great ones.
Enjoy!
-------------------------------------
You just might be a Redneck ifâ¦
-------------------------------------
Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
You've ever tried to drown a fish.
You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event.
None of your shirts cover your stomach.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
Your family tree does not fork.
Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
The fifth grade is referred to as "Your Senior Year."
You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
Three-quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.
Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.
Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
